Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Mr. Pandher - At the extreme edge of our society?

You may have heard about the serial killing in North India, in a place called Noida. Two men, one rich, the other, his servant, who killed children and abused them - 30 or more of them. And there are more nauseating details on the net about all this which I will not go into.

If you think about the children, it just leaves one in horror. And many of us probably have tried to think about this again and again, and not closed the loop of logic in our heads.

But now, I am going to take my focus off these two people.

For long, when terrorist killed innocent people. When a policeman or someone else in power raped someone. Or even when I saw a policeman slapping a cyclist or a driver of some shabby truck. Or even when I saw an household humilating a servant for stealing. Or even when I saw a bureaucrat admonishing an applicant with unbridled morality, threat and humilation. Or even when I see young thugs in a big city, stealing from an old person. Or even when I hear of gangs that cripple children for begging. Or even when I heard people of one community or caste speaking about the worthless lives of others ....

I have been asking myself - when is when we stop sensing the humanness in another. Or in other words start considering the other person as an object - lacking senses?

I have tried to dig deep into my deep dark sides and tried to simulate it all. Let me imagine I am all powerful and never questioned. Would I torture the life out of someone else? I have tried to dig deep into my ignorant/innocent childhood for instances where I hurt someone without sensing remorse?

I remember a few years in college when I used to philosophise " in the end, nothing really matters". We all die anyways. So, why do we not just maximise pleasure and simply pop it soon. Whats the whole idea of life anyways. Whats the big deal about being human. Why cannot we just be animals and live the life of extreme anarchy.

And then in time it struck me, that pleasure and happiness are not possible without the acceptance of that thread - called relationship & being connected. When you seek pleasure purely in the form of object, there is a void. How can I feel elated about my being if there is no one who genuinely by heart appreciates it? This seems to apply both to simple connecting with another - as a colleague, passerby, friend, boss, subordinate, king, servant, rich or poor.

If we want to be any of these roles, irrespective of the other person's acceptance, and instead use force or threat or disguise - its time to stop. And negotiate with reality. This applies to relationships, realtives and the almighty force called love & sex.

Thats probably why I now understand why a Respected King by destiny, still spends so much on charity. Why a boss by designation must still plan his subordinate's even better future.

So, why do people still choose threat, force, disguise to achieve such roles still?

Typically, we grow with and through an experience of love. And some who do not get it still make it their passion to search for it.

But guess, some of us get estranged. Move so far away, so fast that we cannot feel for our life anymore? Or maybe some gene takes us there? Or maybe we just loose it all - energy, heart, senses, esteem...

Or maybe for some of us it started as a survival tactic and then...?

Or for some, some chemicals did the job?

Or for some, the society sanctioned it?

I do not know what was Mr. Pandher's problem but he surely took the extreme version of how some politicians, policeman, authorities, bureaucrats & terrorists treat the powerless? Like objects - like means to some noble end?

I mean, in India, and in some big cities, say like Delhi and others... we hear so many stories everyday... what do you think runs in the mind of the thug who steals from the old. Or the policeman who rapes a slum dweller/prostitute/eunuch. Or a rich man who humilates his servant as a suspect for stealing? Or when people are burnt or sliced during riots? How many degrees of humanness do they grant the other being? Or is it : 'If they are not from my family, I am not sure they feel the same as I do?'

Even though the scientific reason for these killings could be anything. I feel our society has tacitly sanctioned the way it was implemented.

And as soon as we kill these two, it may just let us forget that we may have a role to play in all this? But who will teach us how to respect another person... even when we do not connect, even when his or her upbringing seems inadequate, even when he or she speaks another language, even when he or she looks different, even when he or she is half mine or your size. When will we be able to have the strength to be benevolent and real... even when we have to shed our disguise, reveal our weaknesses, share ours strenghts, offer our time.... simply so that the other person feels connected to this world we have closed out for her or him?

I think we will, when we realise that being powerful means that someone can see you or me as a person who can help. Being rich, is about opening the path for more to follow and not monopolising the world. Being not very rich, to tell the others that there is still some road laying before we go further. Being a servant because you found someone who you is worthy of your service. Being a friend, because the world should be a warmer place.

There is no muscle, mind, position or face in the world that has any worth without someone to carry, lead, develop or relate with.

Of course, no one is perfect and we do are little games. But I think its really dangerous to think we are strong simply because we found someone worse than us?

I think we need to learn to respect each other and find the energy, heart & vision to do this in reality... everyday. So that all around us can sense the worth of being alive... whoever we are.